Hello! Welcome to Fantasyland Estate Agents, I understand you’re in the market for a Castle or Schloss/Chateau if you prefer the “continental” type. Anything in particular? I’ve got a nice Ice one that’s just come on, the owner has moved out and decided to let it go. Too cold? Well I’ve a couple a couple of Towers available, they come as a Twin set, bit desolate and one is definitely a fixer upper, but I have some great contacts at a Roofers Romford way. Can I take a name? Baron Hadrada Von Darkspear? Right, I think that you might like this rather evil one that’s a steal, almost literally in your case.
Ok, so this is the lair of the Evil Queen. You remember her? Tried to do in Snow White? Never trust a step mother in our world eh? Eh? Almost as bad as a Grand Vizier Its 4 receptions rooms, 18 bedrooms, dining room and torture chamber stroke spell room, cauldrons still in there too if you want it. Let’s have a look the front door, check out that portcullis and drawbridge, lovely stonework around the entrance, that’s a dread portal and a half am I right? Like it’s a screaming mouth or something, want to go in side? Abandon all hope and all that.
So, this is the courtyard, woah mind the spikes there. What do you think of this, Perfect for ensnaring “our hero” don’t you think? It’s got some nice space for a wild animal or vicious creature to be released. Varying degrees of size to so you can mix and match it up a bit. Depends on your budget of course. Now let’s have look inside.
Ok so you’ve got your stand ballroom here, apart from the blood red flooring and the rather colourful paints of mayhem and violence, there’s the antique crystal chandeliers, I’ve got a great contact if you’d like to see more of them by the way although I would check with a Roofers in Romford first to make sure the roof can take the weight. Well it’s downstairs for the torture chamber stroke spell room or we can look in the master bedroom and the observatory? Upstairs, yes ok good choice.
Nice four poster, as you’d expect, shame about the gargoyles and the figures in pain on it but there’s no accounting for taste is there. Right well that’s pretty much it. Just the battlements, nice view up there, you can survey all the blasted heath that comes with the property. It’ll be impassable for any would be hero who fancies their chances. What’s that chief? What’s under that blanket? I’m not completely sure, better leave it where it is if I were you. It might be, no! Don’t take off the blanket. Oh, great that’s done it. It’ll be all “who’s the fairest of them all” etc. Bad news that mirror is. Well, it’s 50,000 groats for the lot, what do you say?
For other fairy-tale castles take a look here.